Wednesday, September 10, 2014

"Before": Not Yet an "After"

I grew up playing soccer, volleyball, and swimming.  I rode my bike everywhere.  Being active wasn’t something I thought about much – it was a way of life.   Like most kids, I never focused on nutrition.  In fact, while growing up, it never occurred to me that my eating habits could affect my health.  I ate whatever I liked.  I was active, and in pretty good shape.  I considered myself to be strong and healthy.

After eighteen years as an active kid, I became much less active in college, and my weight began to creep up.  Late nights with pizza, ice cream, and beer meant that the “Freshman 15” didn’t end after freshman year.  I didn’t give much thought as to what I was putting into my body, rather than providing myself with proper “fuel” through good nutrition.   I continued to eat like an athlete, even though my only activity was an occasional trip to the campus sports center or dancing at parties with my friends.  By the time I finished college, I had put on thirty pounds.   Like many people who gain weight during their college and young adult years, I just assumed that was what happened when people get older.  I have since learned that  that’s simply not true – it’s what happens when people stop exercising and eat foods that do not support a healthy body.

I graduated with my B.S.N. in 2001.  After college I moved to another state and started my career as a nurse, a lifelong dream for me.  I was responsible for preparing my own meals, and I loved to cook.  But again, I didn’t think much about nutrition – I loved recipes that tasted good, regardless of fat content.  I dined out on burgers and fries, or Italian food, and washed it all down with a beer or glass of wine.  I ate nearly all of my meals at work at the hospital cafeteria, a nutritionally devoid cesspool of fried foods and casseroles (hot-dish if you’re from Minnesota, like me).  Even though everyone around me ate the same way, I couldn’t deny that I didn't look or feel good.  Despite biking and rollerblading a few times a week with my then-fiancé, I had gained another ten pounds.  I joined the hospital’s healthy living center, and I sweated away on the treadmill and used the weight machines.  It’s probably no surprise that my weight did not budge.

Months later, I heard about Weight Watchers from some friends at work.  I was intrigued, and thought “okay, if they can do it, so can I.”  So, I signed up.  I only went to a handful of meetings.  I liked the leader and she shared some great advice, but I didn’t believe I had much in common with the other women.  But, I stuck with the program on my own, and in spite of my occasional cheating the diet began to work.  For the first time, I paid attention to the number of calories, fat grams, and fiber contained in a serving.  And what a serving was – a cup of chips, versus the entire bag.  Weight Watchers taught me to read food labels, and to understand what it was that made a food healthy (or bad).  As a result, I lost my first ten pounds from simply watching my diet and running outdoors or working out on the elliptical machine for thirty minutes several times each week.  I began to feel good again.

I quickly grew bored with my “diet” and all but abandoned it.  I did continue to pay more attention to food labels, though I was not consistently following the Weight Watchers plan.  Fast-forward a few years later, I decided to go back to school for my master’s degree in 2004.   I made a half-hearted attempt a scheduling workouts and meal-planning, but work and school assignments often took priority.  That is until I found out I was pregnant with my first child.  I was overjoyed!  And terrified.  I was now totally responsible for the health of another human being, and I took my nutrition and activity more seriously than ever before.  I gained 24 lbs. with that pregnancy, which was healthy and within the recommended range for my pre-pregnancy weight.  Ian was born at 37 weeks – healthy and totally amazing.  I chose to breastfeed, and fully embraced and consumed the recommended additional 500 calories needed to support lactation.  But, Ian and I were active during our days at home.  We went for daily walks, and once cleared by my doctor, began to incorporate daily light exercise.  I lost the pregnancy weight quickly, and was actually about 5-10 lbs lighter than pre-pregnancy weight by the time I went back to work.  Over the next several years, the weight slowly crept back on – I blamed it on my chaotic work schedule, frequently eating on the run while juggling motherhood and clinical training for my nurse practitioner certification while also working.  But, I thought of myself as “healthy fat” and figured once I had more time to workout the weight would come off.  And, along came baby #2 complete with 30 lbs of pregnancy weight.  Logan was born at 37/3 weeks, healthy and beautiful.  I tried to be as active as I had been on my first maternity leave, but getting a busy kindergartener to his various activities, finding a stable nap time for the little guy, and keeping up with various household duties, my fitness took a backseat.   Yes, these sound like excuses.  

A few years, two kids, two master’s degrees, a nearly complete doctorate, a full and happy life… and a number on the scale I never thought I’d see.  After a few half-hearted attempts at weight-loss with dismal results, I finally understand I need to get serious.  I have a way to go, but have committed to a lifestyle change.  I quit the hospital cafeteria.  I have given up my daily lattes and wine.  I have adopted a clean, primarily plant based diet.  Not vegetarian - as a Midwest girl, I can’t quite give up the steak.  And lean meats and fish provide many nutritional benefits (more on that another time).  After having been a member of “the clean plate club” for many years, I now measure my foods.  Portion control and elimination of nutritionally devoid “food” is one of the best things I have done for myself.  And I have fallen in love again with what it feels like to be an active person again.  While it’s still tempting to put exercise aside, especially while staring at a full calendar, I have come to understand that it is just as important as anything else the day dictates.   Now down 14 lbs over the past couple of months, I don’t feel like a “before” as much anymore.  But I’m not quite an “after” either - I’m still working toward my goal, but who of us isn't a work in progress???